It’s IWSG Day and I’m late getting my post up. Not surprised, are you? LET ME EXPLAIN!
By way of explanation I’m going to talk a little bit about myself (something I am normally loathe to do). I have an autoimmune disease. This means that my immune system has decided (by some freak of nature) the some of my organs are the enemy and it regularly attacks them; namely my thyroid and kidneys. My poor kidneys are already in a weakened condition, so it is an extreme concern to keep the ole immune system as happy as possible, so it’s lays off of em. On top of that I suffer from Fibromyalgia, most likely brought on by severe nerve damage as a result of chemotherapy (yes, I’m also a cancer survivor). Because of the aforementioned conditions I suffer from chronic pain and fatigue. Some days, like today for example, I have to lay down for a little bit after taking a shower, I’m that worn out by the activity (ain’t life grand).
These conditions are exacerbated by a host of things that occur for most of us in the normal routine of life; like stress, over-activity, anxiety, the common cold, and changes in the weather (just to name a few). Yesterday was a day from hell for me, and a perfect storm for my unfortunate physiology. Top that off by the fact that today the weather is changing and storms are moving in. Yeah, today is not one of my happier days.
I don’t like to talk about this for a number of reasons, I try to remain positive, not giving into the pain, fatigue, or the fact that there is no cure for my problems. I can do certain things to control it, but some things are simply not with in my realm. I don’t like to complain or appear weak. Nobody likes a whiner. I suppose I also harbor the belief that by not talking about this, it will somehow go away. I know, I know; classic denial.
Anyway…why am I telling you all of this personal carp today, well it plays directly into the reasons why I write and how I look at the future. Today’s question for the December IWSG is:
In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what’s your plan to get there?
First, let me tell you that I write for myself. Oh yeah, I hope that someone else will enjoy my stories and want to get lost in them, but that is always, Always, ALWAYS, SECONDARY. You see, I write to outrun the pain, to catch up with the pain, to endure the pain, to forget about the pain, and ultimately to learn to live with it. Because of my constant companion I normally don’t look too far into the future. Many days, my main concern is getting through that particular one with as much grace and optimism as possible. Days like today, I’m working on it hour by hour.
As to whether or not I actually have a writing career, who knows? But I do know one thing for sure and that is that I will keep writing, keep running (at least figuratively), and keep hoping. For all good things are possible with God, and He too is my constant companion.
Now, I hope this post wasn’t too much of a downer. The last thing I want is pity or undue attention from anyone because of my condition. Perhaps is prove to have been good for me to talk openly about this. You never know. Please hop around to other participants where I’m sure you’ll find more uplifting and informative posts than what I’ve had to say here. Please, stop by and thank Mr. Alec J. Cavanaugh (find him HERE) and his co-hosts for the inspiration behind the IWSG (find the list and more information HERE), and no matter what the future holds for any of us NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR WRITING OR YOUR DREAMS.