Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Believe it...or not.

I sincerely hope this isn't cheating.
I'm so self conscious about posting my writing, you know writing, writing,not like my goofy stories, that I'm much more comfortable hiding behind a little music.
So,push play and read on.



Below is my entry in Cherie Reich’s Flash Fiction Blogfest. In a perfect world with a much more adept blogger you would be able to click on that image above and be magically transported to Cherie’s blog where all the Blogfest rules and participants are listed. But alas…you’re stuck with me. So, I’ll give you a link at the end (don’t want you running off too soon), and you can go check out the rules, prizes, and other participants. Being the Queen of verbosity, I’m not too good and this 300 words or less, flash fiction thing, but Cherie and you will have a chance to decide.

Lightning

Lightning flashed and I immediately started counting in my head…one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand. The thunder rolled across the ocean and crashed onto the shore with an unusual intensity. Even expecting it, I jumped. You didn’t even stir. I never did sleep like that. There is so much about you that I envy. Maybe that’s my problem. Envy.

I can’t express how or why I fell in love with you. There’s so much we have in common and yet the differences are monumental. Oh well, there is that ‘opposites attract’ thing; maybe that’s what we have going on. I’m not sure anymore. I am sure of one thing; it’s going on more for me than you.

“Hey, I’m always in pursuit. I’m just not pursuing you.” You told me that from the very beginning.

Did I listen? I fell for every line, never realizing that they weren’t lines at all. I’m still not sure exactly what they were. What you were or are about. I do know one thing for sure; for me this is one big heartbreak.

Another flash and the room is illuminated. I marvel at your beauty. Asleep or awake you are gorgeous. I’m grateful for the time we had together. The times I looked into your soul. The time I spent sharing mine. I needed that, still do, but it’s time to go.

“Always leave ‘em wanting more. Never take that extra curtain call. Slip away before the applause completely wanes.” Sage advice. It’s time I took it and made a graceful exit.

Another flare granting just enough light for me to gather my things. The next burst comes and I’m ready to leave. May your dreams be sweet and your memories of me tender.

Lightning flashed one more time, and I’m gone.


OK, now here’s the link to Cherie’s blog. Remember to come back on the 25th and see who the finalists are. If, I should be one, you better vote for me. Well, only if you think mine is the best, of course.




41 comments:

  1. Thank you for entering my 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest! The six finalists will be announced on Friday, May 25th. I will further comment on your entry on Thursday.

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  2. Dramatic and emotional. Wonderfully written.

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  3. Beautiful, and good for her. I like to see strong women that can do what's best for them even if it means breaking their own hearts.

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  4. I love this. The mood is wonderful, the voice strong, direct, and full of emotion.

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  5. Hey, I've been to that beach! We chase and iguana...

    But, back to business, this was SO SAD. Now I have to hunt down my box of tissues.

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  6. Very nice. Interesting how you have written this in such a way that we cannot tell the gender of the narrator - or the person the narrator is speaking about for that matter. Hmmm...

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  7. This is good--nothing to be self conscious about. Well done!

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  8. That is very powerful~ and I know this won't help but you need to share more of your writing; it's good! nice work...

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  9. That is so good! Be very proud of that piece!! :)

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  10. Powerful, sad and yet positive in its own way. Well written.

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  11. Sometimes you have to know when enough is enough. Sad and empowering. Thanks for the story.

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  12. I love it! It's sad but also kind of uplifting...you fit a lot into a small amount of words. Great job :)

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  13. Excellent! I really love the play of emotions. Great job.

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  14. *sniff*

    Makes me think of that song, "We'll sing in the sunshine. You know, we'll laugh every day. We'll sing in the sunshine. Then I'll be on my way."

    So which of them wanted out? Was she recognizing signs?

    Now I'm all curious!

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  15. Wow! This just made me ache for your character! Great writing!

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  16. really liked this. It's perfect.

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  17. Fantastic! Good luck in the contest.

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  18. Awww, so bittersweet. I loved it, love the raw emotion.

    Andrea

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  19. Hey, that was some good Flash Fiction; I especially liked the way you used the lightning.

    Maybe you should have said that the sleeping person sometimes snored and rather loudly, so they wouldn't seem so much like the perfect catch.

    That way the person who is leaving would understand that there are other and better fish in the sea, and they wouldn't feel quite so sad about their departure.

    But then... you know me... always trying to lighten the mood.

    I hope you win the contest! I read some of the other entries but I HONESTLY thought yours was the best that I saw. It seemed so raw and so real and surreal, all at the same time.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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  20. That reads like a really strong scene in a movie - I can really see the room and feel her heart.

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  21. "Always leave 'em wanting more." Great tips for a writer.
    You followed your own advice :D

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  22. This is a great story. I'm a writer myself and SOOO bad at flash fiction. I try to write it from time to time, just to challenge myself. Recently I tried to write a short story for a contest (Not flash, just short fiction). The max was 4000 words and I ended up with 7000. (See why I'm bad at flash). Anyway, I think I got it down to 3995 or something, but you do flash fiction VERY well. Take it from someone who struggles with it! Great story. Very beautiful!

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  23. This was great! You shouldn't be so self conscious about posting your writing. It's genuinely good. This was dramatic without being overly dramatic, it was sad, it was touching, and I love when people write in this perspective, talking directly to you. I ended it thinking, "Man, I'm a jerk."

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  24. Fantastic piece! I loved how it progressed, and I wonder more about them.

    I'll announce the finalists Friday.

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  25. Sad, but in a way, good too, because the main character had to have found a source of inner strength to walk away. :-)

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  26. Aw, sadness! But wise, if the partner was really no partner. Still... :-(
    Some Dark Romantic

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  27. Powerful and complex with such a simple stream of thought quite enjoyed the beginning full of mystery

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  28. Wow, leaving someone during a thunderstorm, talk about heightened drama! What I really liked though was the idea that love is all a show, a game of sorts, that we play to end up ahead of our partners. Great work!

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  29. This was so sad and so beautifully written! And congrats for making into the finals, this was great. (:

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  30. I KNOW THAT VOICE!! That was really good, obviously :0! Know get that book published, all these people want the rest of the story, and BELIEVE ME GUYS you really do!!!

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  31. sad story I liked the way the storm was involved in it. Drama :)

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  32. Congratulations on being in the finals!!

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  33. This is a sad, yet gorgeous piece.

    Congrats on being a finalist.

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  34. Congrats on being a finalist! :)

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  35. Aww, that was beautiful and sad all at the same time, very nicely done :)

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