Wednesday, December 4, 2013


That quote just about sums up my personal feelings on insecurity lately. While I admit that I have had a hard time putting my butt in the chair and writing, I have been working on several projects in my head. I think I'm finally ready to attack the keyboard.

When I copied that little quote above it was linked to a blog written by Marc Chernoff. The blog title is 'Marc and Angel Hack Life or Practical Tips for Productive Living'. Marc had a list of eight reasons not to NEED the approval of others.  Since I think they are pretty interesting I would like to share them with you.

You only get one life to pursue the dreams that make you come alive

Someone else's approval is just another opinion

The only opinion that really matters is you own

Some people will never give you their approval anyway

Everyone's journey and perspective on life is totally different

First hand experience is often necessary for personal growth

Your intuition requires no approval

Life is too short to wait any longer

I can't say that I agree with Marc 100% on every point but some of them are right on the money. When it comes to writing in the world today, with the opportunities to self-publish, the approval of agents, editors, and the establishment is not so necessary other than to massage our egos. Sometimes it's more important to tell your stories, than to get recognition for them.

I for one am taking all of this to heart and planning of beginning 2014 with a positive attitude. It is my intention to finish up the edits on my current story and try to sell it. I have another idea that has been percolating for some time now, and I think it's time to get that one down on the screen. Finally, my first story 'Far Away Eyes' has been the stuff that is making up my dreams - I think that one wants to be reworked and see the light of day.

BTW - I think Marc's suggestions about overcoming our need for approval are pretty darn good for basic day to day life, no matter what your passion may be. That reminds me of another quote 'Whatever you are, be a good one.'- (attributed to A. Lincoln)

This is my final post for the year 2013 with the Insecure Writer's support Group. To learn more about this group or to read what some other Insecure Writer's have to say please go to The Source , click on the icon and check out some of the other posts (last I checked there were about 300 members).


  1. For me, I ultimately only have to please one person, and if I can please Him, then that is enough - and it will also please me.

  2. Wonderful post! Insecurity is something I deal with all the time, and my very first IWSG post last month was about that. this month I touch on another way it creeps into my writing -- even if my writing is "good enough" am I doing enough of it???

    but you're right -- my main goal both as a writer and a musician is to please myself. I like doing it, so I do it. I also want to continually improve -- I'll never hit perfection in spite of my perfectionism, but I'd like each piece to maybe be a little "better" than the last.

    I hope your 2014 is filled with wonderful things and that you are pleased with all that happens in it!

  3. Amen! to Alex's comment.

    You are right--life is too short to wait any longer.

  4. <<<---Everyone's journey and perspective on life is totally different

    That is so true. I think that when we write to please other people, instead of ourselves, we end up making no one happy. One of the things that I enjoy most about reading is seeing life through another lens. I like peeking into the journey of another.

    Yes, you should rework Far Away Eyes if it is calling to you!

  5. I please me, the rest can pound sand lol

  6. Lovely! I always of my father's saying when I hear about peoples' opinion: they're just like a-holes. Everyone's got one, and they usually stink. ;) It doesn't mean we should discount everything, but we need to be very careful.

  7. "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - William Shakespeare.

    Sorry for the long comment, this is the first thing that popped into my head.

  8. I guess for me it was more worrying about others' disapproval. So I became "class clown" to an extent- give them something you don't care about to disapprove of so they won't disapprove of the things that will hurt. Now that I'm old, fat, and ugly, they can all disapprove of my pale white butt for all I care.

  9. The only approval I ever needed (and always got) was from my family. Anything else from anybody else was like a piece of candy. It was sweet while it lasted, but the flavor soon disappeared and/or left me with a toothache.

  10. There are only a few people whose opinions I care about. Brandon's, for example, because we both have the same taste in writing and he'll genuinely tell me if something I've written is good or if it needs improving.

    Outside of that, I don't really care. I write for me, not for the fads. Fads die. The stories that go against the grain are almost always the stories that are remembered long in the future.

    I'm glad to hear you're writing and we're both eager to see it when it's done.

  11. Go Go Gadget - er, FAE! Really gotta make the writing thing your own thing :)


  12. I like Marc's points but I think Alex nailed it in his comment. Amen.

  13. Yup, I think too much about what other people think. It's a mind game I play with myself, and it's like being stuck in a loop.

    Just gotta keep on keepin' on!

  14. Awesome quote, and I totally agree. We have to build a healthy mental dialog so as to see the world in the right perspective.

  15. Oh, and by the way -- I'd like to sign up to take part as a poster in the next installment of BOTB, if that's ok. I even have a Christmas song picked out and a couple of great versions of it.

    So can I jump on board with BOTB #10?

  16. Hey Everyone - thanks for all the positive feedback. I'm grateful to not be to insecure lately.

  17. Chris - No problem. Please feel free to join in. Snag the logo and post it on your Battle. As a suggestion, especially for this first time, come by here, and F-FFF ,and Tossing It Out, early on the 15th, and leave a comment to the effect that you are also posting a BOTB. Hopefully, that will send some of the 'regulars' your way. Lookin' towards enjoying your selection.

  18. Chris- Dumb blonde that I am, I answered your question on my BOTB post. Go there for some suggestions, but by all means, join us.

  19. hello again!
    long time!!
    i agree with you that the writing world is different today and agents etc are not so necessary
    if u have a good story, and can tell it, agents and editors don't really change the core of what it is...
    and if its good... well, then u get the approval of feedback from readers on amazon etc, which is all that matters (that people like it)!