Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Great Spider Debacle or YIKES, I don't know what to do!

While I can't say for a fact this was Mr. Hairy Legs, they are at least related.

Yesterday was my little friend Macy’s first day at the new theater group her mother signed her up for. She was so excited. Because Mom works, she asked me to pick Macy up from school and entertain her for about an hour and a half and they take her to ‘The Calico Cat Company’ theater group. Since I thoroughly enjoy spending time with Macy, I thought, sure why not. Macy is six years old.

The policy at Macy’s school is you drive up this one-way street where the kids are waiting to be picked up on a porch. Each car takes it’s turn stopping at the stairs as a teacher diligently inspects each vehicle to be sure you have the proper clearance to pick up the child you are requesting. (Actually, that’s how it’s supposed to work, but you pull up, call the child’s name and as long as they seem to know you and come to the vehicle willingly, nobody questions a thing.) Anyway…after following said procedure, Macy walks around the front of my vehicle and comes to the rear door on the passenger side to enter. (I should probably mention here that the place where you are required to stop is barely at the crest of a rather steep hill – and it’s helpful to know that my car has a manual transmission.)

Macy says “Hi” to me through the open window and opens the back door. The next sound out of her mouth is a shrill, blood curdling scream. I look over at her through the open door and see three bright orange and black hairy legs of a spider that has to weight about forty pounds. I’m trying to calm Macy down, when she starts screaming, “I don’t know what to do,” while standing there staring at said spider. I’m trapped behind the wheel with one foot on the brake and the other on the clutch, not sure how good my emergency brake is, when I holler back at her, ‘slam to door and get in the front.’ Sheesh!

Macy complies and scrambles into the front passenger seat. Next, I make a fatal mistake.

I ask one of the teachers, supervising the children for help. I explain that there is a GIANT spider on the car and can she please come around the side and kick it off for me. She comes around the side of the car and shrugs while telling me there is nothing there. I think oh shit sheepskin; it’s in the door jamb, so I tell her to open the door. Sure enough, there he is all huge and orange and hairy (remember I still can only see about three legs of him, but I’m sure he was smiling and evil grin.) Again I ask her to kick it off into the street.

Does she do that? NOOOO, she takes her hand and flicks him into the backseat. Then she looks up at me and says; “ah, oh. I guess I didn’t do too good.” Are you kidding me lady, and you are in charge of children. I just smile and thank her anyway as she slams the door.

Macy is now huddled on the front seat refusing to put her feet down on the floor. I drive away, every few second feeling this creepy crawly on my leg. Yeah, you guessed it, we spent the next hour and a half tooling around town doing errands, just the three of us; Me, Macy and Mr. Hairy Legs.

Later that night, I had to get someone, to hunt him down (Mr. Hairy Legs), kill him and remove the carcass. They tried to minimize his size, but I wasn’t hearing any of it. That sucker was 40 pounds of hairy, scary, trantulaness.

Ah, life in paradise. So what was your Tuesday like?


  1. I could never have driven around with that spider in the car. No way. With me and big bugs - it's kill or run. I grew up in the south,so I know bugs. (fewer up here in the north)

  2. Oh. My. Goodness. No way could I have driven off. Sod the line of cars, they'd have had to wait. You are very, very brave!

  3. Did you tell that teach thanks for nothing? Don't think I could've driven around town knowing that thing was somewhere in my car...

  4. Faraway, you are braver than I. I don't think I could drive in a car with that huge spider present. I am arachnophobic and just hearing you describe the size of this creature makes my blood go cold.

    Incredible story, and I'm so glad you didn't have an accident or have it bite you.

  5. *shudders* I couldn't have driven that car without getting rid of the spider first. I'd probably have wrecked it.

  6. D.G., Linda, and Alex - Driving around town with Mr. H.L. as an uninvited passenger was not my first choice, but let me explain. Upon being flicked into the car, he immediately ran under the rear seats. At this point I figured I had three choices:
    1. Abandon the car and let Mr. H.L. have it for his own purposes and pleasures. - Not very practical.
    2. Try to hunt him down and clear him out myself. - Are you crazy?
    3. Ignore him hoping that he is as afraid of us as we are of him. All the while reminding myself that Neither Macy or I are his preferred source of nourishment. - Not easy but effective.

  7. I believe you! I can just imagine it...HUGE. Someone I know went to live in Kenya and one day came rushing out of her new house yelling there was a lizard on her sofa. A well-experienced expat said snootily, "you're in Africa now, you have to expect to deal with lizards." They went in together and there on the sofa was a damned great crocodile! (or something just as huge and foul).

  8. Michael & Cherie: I admit that I did think about the potential for having an accident should Mr. H.L. appear at my feet or worse, on my shoulder singing Highdie Ho, but once again I kept working to convince myself that his fear was greater than mine.

  9. Oh, my heck. *shudders* I don't know how you did it!

  10. Donna - just call me Superwoman or maybe 'da Queen of denial'. Ha, ha, ha!

  11. Susan - Everybody thinks it's all sunshine and beaches living in the tropics, but there is always a downside. Some things take a lot of getting used to.

  12. This reminds me of a time I thought I had a strange giant leaf stuck in my sun roof . . .no, giant spider, that I proceeded to knock into the car. I drove two blocks to a parking lot, and my passenger and I searched the vehicle and couldn't find it. The rest of the day I was creeped out.

    Glad someone took care of Mr. Hairy Legs for you.

  13. EEK! I lost all cohesive thought after you described the giant spider. I would've been out of that car so fast no matter the brakes on or not!

    And the bigger they are
    the less I like 'em.

    I know most people have a fear of snakes, but snakes don't really bother me much. Spiders, on the other hand...

    >> . . . she takes her hand and flicks him into the backseat.

    Her HAND? She used her hand to move it?
    Not on your life.

    If I were in that same situation, it's as simple as this: Car not moving one inch until the spider is found and killed and/or removed (and preferably by someone other than me). Car dun movin' - better reroute traffic, school peeps.

    And to think that some lamebrains out there are trying to sell the idea that civilians have no need for automatic weapons.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  15. Oh yuck! I've had tarantulas in my closet, but at least I could run away. One of them bad boys in my car? I don't have the courage.

  16. If the woman used her hand to brush it into your backseat, I would have demanded she use her hand to pull it out. It was her fault for being so stupid. It doesn't take a neurosurgeon to brush away a spider.

  17. I posted about this happening to me, with a car load of bikini clad girls, on our way home from Mazatlan, Mexico. It was like a scene from a horror movie!!@
    We had a Mexican tarrantula in the backseat of my girlfriends car, and NO ONE, was willing to get it out.

    I've jumped out of moving vehicles because of a spider before, I am THAT afraid of them. My kids know, if there is a spider in our house, hell will freeze over before their mom will get it out. Their on their own. ...

  18. I can stop shuddering!!!!

  19. I can't even look at it. I would've walked.

  20. Oh, great! Just when you had a chance to introduce a new pet into your house, you had it killed. Besides, the poor thing was probably terrified in your car.

    Some people! Besides, I really don't now what it is about spiders. They help take care of insects, and usually prefer to hide in the dark. Usually.

  21. OMG I would've gotten out of that car so fast I probably would've forgotten to hit the e-brake and ended up causing a horrific accident. I hate spiders!

  22. I really need to apologize for taking so long to formulate a reply to all of the hilarious comments left here. I’m also sorry that I’m gonna make a ‘cheap’ reply to you guys as a group. Lately my life has been more of a circus than normal (or at least than my life normally is, ya’ll know I don’t got no idea what normal is)

    First – Let’s make it perfectly clear
    I don’t like spiders and snakes.
    And that ain’t what it takes to love me,
    Like I wanna be loved by you.
    Jim Stafford (and me)

    I wish I weren’t so cyber-impaired that I could just post a link to that song here in the comment box, but well…you know me.

    This did happen to me last Tuesday and I am as terrified as the next girl/guy of large hairy spiders, but after I wrote this up and read your comments I realized something about myself. Remember I had my little six year old friend with me, whom I love dearly. She was terrified. I made a split second decision that I had to serve her interests and not mine. My objective was to calm her down and help her to feel secure. I wanted her to believe Mr. Hairy Legs was no big deal. I was sincerely hoping he was more afraid of us than we were of him after his ordeal of being screamed at and ‘flicked’ into the backseat of my car. It wasn’t until after I read all of the comments here, I realized that I am that person who is willing to ride around in a car with spiders, in order to protect someone I love.

    Anyway…it’s been a rough week and I’ve felt a little more insecure than normal (I didn’t think that could happen). So, I thank you all for your comments and helping me to realize something positive about myself.

  23. Thanks for sharing that,FE. I think maybe a few of us were a little hard on you. Just because I don't mind spiders that doesn't mean everybody else feels comfortable with them.

    Blessings and Bear hugs.

  24. Damn, your story made my skin crawl. I've heard stories of a bee entering a car and causing accidents.

    It could easily happen with spiders. Yuck!

  25. I can't believe you were able to just drive around with that thing in there.