Sunday, January 8, 2012


This past week I had three separate encounters with, what for me were, foundation rattling realizations. The first two came in the form of blog posts by others.

FIRST up was I was blown away by this and probably not for the same reasons you were. I was blown away by her courage. I was absolutely devastated by the fact that she publicly turned to those people she loves and trusts (but, probably never met, in person) for help and support. They in turn, turned to those they love and support and so on and soon. To me this was amazing. Why? Because I been there and I didn’t do that. Trust issues. I was actually homeless for a few days with my daughter, because I could not reach out. I’m the blackest cynic. My natural tendency is not to trust the human race. BUT, I’m holding out hope. (Yeah, a cynic with hope…Go figure) I’m hoping that this week, Candy is gonna check that PalPal Account and there will be over a million dollars in it. Heck, that’s only a million people giving a dollar each. You probably got a dollar in the cushions of your couch. Are there a million of you out there? Personally, this is how I think it should work, not us depending on the government to back us up.

SECOND up was Look for the post titled CHAOS. When I started reading this post I was confused. What in the heck is she talking about and then it hit me. Holy crap. Cancer. OK, I been there too and I did not do that either. Nope, not me. I had to best strong for everyone around me, who by the way, were just as sure as I was that I was going to die. It took me realizing that, yeah, I was going to die, just like everybody else, maybe it would be sooner than I thought or maybe not. Anyway...that’s not the point here. The point is. This is another courageous lady, reaching out looking for the light at a really dark time.

THIRD was me spewing my real ugly, politically un-correct, ex-patriot stuff all over somebody else. I try real hard to keep that locked up somewhere safe (as if there was such a place). Branding, you know. It’s important not to look like too much of a nut. What I’m wondering is, am I lying? If you don’t see the ugly, un-pc, ex-pat stuff, am I not being honest? But, then if you did see that you probably wouldn’t like me very much. Do I just want to be liked? Well, yeah, but not at the expense of honesty. Anyway…don’t worry I’m not about to start spewing. I put that back in the box. It’s really not the point here. It’s just one of the factors that brought me to this point. Brought me to my knees.

SO, I want to give you my picture of HEAVEN and HELL. One night I had a dream. First I was shown into a room where there was a large group seated around a table. Their hands were chained together and each had a spoon with an extremely long handle. These people were not happy campers. They were emaciated, ugly, quarreling with each other. As I looked from face to face each one was darker than the last. The room was devoid of Joy. It was cold, sad and lonely. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Next, I was shown into another room. Here was another large group of people seated around a table. Their hands were chained together and each had a spoon with an extremely long handle. It was exactly like the last room EXCEPT here everyone was happy. They were smiling and joking with each other. You could see concern, no, love in their eyes for everyone around the table. These folks looked healthy, happy and content. It was obvious they had found Joy. This room was warm, comfortable and friendly. A place you never wanted to leave. I was perplexed.

I turned to my guide.  “I don’t get it,” I said. “Everything in each room is the same except for the people. I thought you were going to show me HEAVEN and HELL. This is some kind of a riddle and I hate riddles.”

At this point my guide took me back to the first room. A Large steaming pot of something that smelled delicious had been set in the center of the table. My mouth was watering the minute we stepped through the door. But, the scene in the room was chaos. These people were screaming and crying, scratching and clawing, hitting each other with their spoons and cursing. You see with their hands chained together and the long handled spoons they couldn’t reach the yummy smelling nourishment. They were starving in more ways than one. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

We now stood back at the door to the second room. I was afraid to enter. Once inside I smelled these same mouth watering scents waffling through the air. I was almost drooling; I wanted to partake so badly. Here there was no chaos. The feeling of peace, calm and love that I experienced earlier persisted. I looked to my guide wondering what the difference was. He nodded back to the group and I saw they had begun. They were dipping their log handled spoons into the pot and feeding each other.

There you have it, HEAVEN and HELL. They are the same. The difference is us. The difference is our attitude. Where do you live? Me, I’m heading on over to the other side.

Go take a look at the posts of these two courageous ladies. Know that I applaud them. It ain’t easy to ask for something. Go give what you can. Most times a hug is what’s needed.

Before somebody comes unglued at me, that dream was a story (probably famous, although I’ve only heard it once) that someone told me. I like to make it my own. For me it’s real.

I just had to get that off my chest.


  1. You can be selfish or give of yourself - really, truly, genuinely give of yourself. "He who is the greatest servant shall be the greatest among you."
    The world would be a better place if we all considered our fellow human beings more.

  2. There you have it, HEAVEN and HELL. They are the same. The difference is us.

    Very rarely do I search a profile for a clue as to Who is this amazing person?
    This morning I clicked to your profile and, hark, smiled when, metaphorically speaking, I saw footprints in the sand. You're a philosopher of sorts, a self-confident person who sees and knows. Although I agree with Alex's words, I'm not sure that's what you meant. There's another layer to what you wrote, seemingly complex, but not really, and the truth about so much in today's world.

    I'm over to visit Green Monkey. Hub and I have just returned from Louisiana; I've been out of the loop. Green Monkey is a wonderful person who seems to be in a tough, tough situation.

    I don't go around seeing ghosts, but, you're right, when one sees one, well, one sees one and moves on.

    Happy New Year!

  3. Great read! Thank you. Bottom line is, be true to who you really are, but open to others as well. If you hide who you are then who are you being true to? I've recently been wondering if we already live in hell...God made the Earth a paradise, so his glory can always be witnesses, but the pain we experience while we live here makes me quetion where are we really? Heaven is the reward. Figuring out how to live together, much like the spoon analogy...that is the journey. Life is so painful sometimes, how could that not be hell?

  4. I gave 20 bucks to the Candace lady. That will have to be my charity for the month. Honestly, I'm not made of money and although the plights of these people are highlighted here...there is human suffering EVERYWHERE. And I mean EVERYWHERE. You just have to open your eyes. Homeless people all over the place around where I live, drug addicts, people with no hope, people on the verge of suicide because they no longer feel valuable, and I'm not even talking about the quadriplegics (I work with the disabled). Highlighting anyone's particular suffering makes me wonder "What about the other million or so people that are screaming for money and attention? They all have babies? What about them?" But yeah...I gave some money. But if you think that this kind of suffering is unique and rarely need to broaden your horizons. Everyone is singing the song "It sucks to be me..." loud and clear baby.

  5. Strong post... and can't agree more that hell and heaven is about the people and what they make it.... I'm a huge believer of this...

  6. I completely agree. It's all in how you make it. I'm with Alex. I wish people would consider others more.

  7. Life isn't just about the "journey" but what you find and take with you along the way. Seems you found some profound things last week. Good for you for being receptive to them. So far as being authentic in my blogs...I have many sides to me that I vent to different people and audiences. My blogs are for my humorous (trying) thoughts that have nowhere else to go, or my insecurities about my path to publication. I'm always amazed anyone else finds them funny or interesting.

  8. I agree with this. I know my bad or wrong attitude has gotten in the way of what could have been a pleasurable or tolerable experience.

  9. Wow. You make an excellent point. It really does all come back to us. Attitude is so important.

  10. That is a very profound story and I thank you for sharing it as I had never heard it before. I read Candy's post and was brought to my knees because I don't reach out either. I'll do for others, but not for me. I somehow think that my problems are not that bad, that I should just suck it or that I can handle it on my own. But everyone needs help at some point.