This past week I had three separate encounters with, what for me were, foundation rattling realizations. The first two came in the form of blog posts by others.
FIRST up was www.themisadventuresincandyland.blogspot.com I was blown away by this and probably not for the same reasons you were. I was blown away by her courage. I was absolutely devastated by the fact that she publicly turned to those people she loves and trusts (but, probably never met, in person) for help and support. They in turn, turned to those they love and support and so on and soon. To me this was amazing. Why? Because I been there and I didn’t do that. Trust issues. I was actually homeless for a few days with my daughter, because I could not reach out. I’m the blackest cynic. My natural tendency is not to trust the human race. BUT, I’m holding out hope. (Yeah, a cynic with hope…Go figure) I’m hoping that this week, Candy is gonna check that PalPal Account and there will be over a million dollars in it. Heck, that’s only a million people giving a dollar each. You probably got a dollar in the cushions of your couch. Are there a million of you out there? Personally, this is how I think it should work, not us depending on the government to back us up.
SECOND up was www.greenmonkeytales.blogspot.com Look for the post titled CHAOS. When I started reading this post I was confused. What in the heck is she talking about and then it hit me. Holy crap. Cancer. OK, I been there too and I did not do that either. Nope, not me. I had to best strong for everyone around me, who by the way, were just as sure as I was that I was going to die. It took me realizing that, yeah, I was going to die, just like everybody else, maybe it would be sooner than I thought or maybe not. Anyway...that’s not the point here. The point is. This is another courageous lady, reaching out looking for the light at a really dark time.
THIRD was me spewing my real ugly, politically un-correct, ex-patriot stuff all over somebody else. I try real hard to keep that locked up somewhere safe (as if there was such a place). Branding, you know. It’s important not to look like too much of a nut. What I’m wondering is, am I lying? If you don’t see the ugly, un-pc, ex-pat stuff, am I not being honest? But, then if you did see that you probably wouldn’t like me very much. Do I just want to be liked? Well, yeah, but not at the expense of honesty. Anyway…don’t worry I’m not about to start spewing. I put that back in the box. It’s really not the point here. It’s just one of the factors that brought me to this point. Brought me to my knees.
SO, I want to give you my picture of HEAVEN and HELL. One night I had a dream. First I was shown into a room where there was a large group seated around a table. Their hands were chained together and each had a spoon with an extremely long handle. These people were not happy campers. They were emaciated, ugly, quarreling with each other. As I looked from face to face each one was darker than the last. The room was devoid of Joy. It was cold, sad and lonely. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
Next, I was shown into another room. Here was another large group of people seated around a table. Their hands were chained together and each had a spoon with an extremely long handle. It was exactly like the last room EXCEPT here everyone was happy. They were smiling and joking with each other. You could see concern, no, love in their eyes for everyone around the table. These folks looked healthy, happy and content. It was obvious they had found Joy. This room was warm, comfortable and friendly. A place you never wanted to leave. I was perplexed.
I turned to my guide. “I don’t get it,” I said. “Everything in each room is the same except for the people. I thought you were going to show me HEAVEN and HELL. This is some kind of a riddle and I hate riddles.”
At this point my guide took me back to the first room. A Large steaming pot of something that smelled delicious had been set in the center of the table. My mouth was watering the minute we stepped through the door. But, the scene in the room was chaos. These people were screaming and crying, scratching and clawing, hitting each other with their spoons and cursing. You see with their hands chained together and the long handled spoons they couldn’t reach the yummy smelling nourishment. They were starving in more ways than one. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
We now stood back at the door to the second room. I was afraid to enter. Once inside I smelled these same mouth watering scents waffling through the air. I was almost drooling; I wanted to partake so badly. Here there was no chaos. The feeling of peace, calm and love that I experienced earlier persisted. I looked to my guide wondering what the difference was. He nodded back to the group and I saw they had begun. They were dipping their log handled spoons into the pot and feeding each other.
There you have it, HEAVEN and HELL. They are the same. The difference is us. The difference is our attitude. Where do you live? Me, I’m heading on over to the other side.
Go take a look at the posts of these two courageous ladies. Know that I applaud them. It ain’t easy to ask for something. Go give what you can. Most times a hug is what’s needed.
Before somebody comes unglued at me, that dream was a story (probably famous, although I’ve only heard it once) that someone told me. I like to make it my own. For me it’s real.
I just had to get that off my chest.